Can I be honest with you?
Your doula doesn’t want to hear what you think they want to hear.
Society and the media provide us with so many opinions on what is the ‘best’ way to have a baby. There’s an image put forward that only certain people do things one way. That other people must do things another. There’s also an image pushed on doulas by the media. That we are really ‘in to natural birth’, or that we only support home births, or that we push our way of thinking onto our clients.
Nothing could be further from the truth. There’s no such thing as one perfect way to give birth, no ultimate right or wrong decisions just the decisions that feel right to you in your own unique circumstances. Doulas don’t think you ought to do anything, except believe in yourself and make your own choices.
There are No Wrong Choices.
As a doula what I love to see is people trusting themselves. Looking through all the information and being really confident that they made the decision they wanted to and then going on to feel proud of themselves and their birth. It makes me happy to see people proud of their home water birth, it makes me happy to see people proud of their hospital epidural birth, it makes me happy to see people proud of their caesarean birth.
One thing makes me sad though. When people feel they have to hide what they really want. I’m sad if someone really wants to have a homebirth but doesn’t have one because other people make them feel scared. I’m sad when someone really wants an elective c-section but doesn’t feel they can ask for one because they will be branded ‘too posh to push’ by people who don’t know anything about them or their very personal reasons. I’m sad when people think they have to do what they are told not what they really want to do.
You can trust your doula with your truth.
As doulas, we try to make sure that you feel completely comfortable with us. It may be the most important part of our job, to be completely trustworthy during one of the most vulnerable experiences a family will go through. So, we want to hear the truth about what you really want. We REALLY do. We want to build the confidence in you to actually bare all. Even (and especially) when you think it might not be what we want to hear. We really don’t want you to say what you think you ought to want to do when you birth or as you look after your new-born baby.
So, can I be honest with you?
The thing I most want to hear from you as your doula is the truth, your truth. The thing I most want to give you? Freedom to express your own truth and live it out.